Remember when...

Nostalgia can be both wonderful and disgusting. 

I cycled through all of my Facebook profile pictures tonight (I would not recommend this practice), and I had to stop several times and reflect on how much my siblings, friends, and I have all changed. There were a couple of pictures that made me gasp in pain for a moment...images of times in my life that I often bury deep in the back of my head in hopes of easing the ache of a memory. Other pictures made me smile and the old familiar happy ache would creep into my throat as I thought about the day the picture was taken and about how much I miss those times.

Then I play a game with myself. Subconsciously, I ask myself questions over and over.

Hey buddy. 

Remember when you were a little college freshman with wide eyes and uncharacteristically short, cute hair? 

Remember when you thought your heart would split in half and you depended on the steadfast group of breakfast friends and many late nights on another friend's futon to get through the wrenching pain? 

Remember when you first sat in the cafeteria at a date table across from your (soon to be) future roommate and told her that you had Tourette's...and you weren't afraid?

Remember when you rode in a car to Middle of Nowhere, Wyoming with two complete strangers who were several years older than you...to work at a summer camp?

Remember when you found healing in that safe Haven...and learned how to be a friend?

Remember when you moved into Room 308 with Brianne under the sign "Broken and Beautiful" and began to build relationships with a wing of beautiful people who restored your love for Northwestern?

Remember the Moses and Aaron conversation that went from being a set of nicknames for roommates to a promise of accountability?

Remember when you met Julia VanDyk?

Remember when you started hanging out with five beautiful people nearly every free waking hour...and played games in a tiny bakery after midnight?

Remember when you realized that you were safe to openly talk about your Tourette's with those five people?

Remember when your RA decided to "be spontaneous" by creating a March Madness competition...and then nearly 20 people began doing the chicken dance in public places and singing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star in the cafeteria?

Remember when your plans to be a writer changed and you knew you needed to edit films?

Remember when you watched your brother move an audience to tears in a One Act play?

Remember when you first decided to make a short film...and then it turned into plans for six?

Remember when you agreed to room with Julia?

Remember when your heart broke again...and you found comfort in that circle of safe people?

Remember when you crossed the Wyoming border once again, this time with your brother right behind you?

Remember when joy and pain began showing up in the form of new friends, stacks of dirty dishes, and improvised songs?

Remember how there is so much more waiting to happen tomorrow and beyond?

I do remember. 

The video of the post--"Counting Stars" by OneRepublic--is dedicated to my Julia VanDyk...in remembrance of every single Tuesday that this song played in the Hub at roughly 1:35 p.m.

God loves me, and God's love is enough.