The contrast is killing me.
What a crazy four weeks. Family visiting here, Thanksgiving Break, writing workshops, deep conversations, a road trip home and back. Wow. My heart is full.
I'll be real with you here--I've been dragging from one day to the next for the past month. It's been a struggle to find motivation for anything, especially writing about not having motivation. But now that I am motivated, let me tell you some of the things on my heart.
I have seen such hatred and sadness and pain this month. It tears me apart. I just want people to see and practice the words of Jesus when He said, "the greatest of these is love." As my heart aches for so many reasons, I constantly remind myself of that command.
I have had conversations recently that reminded me of the different seasons in friendship. It wasn't easy to hear those words...but I know what I heard was true.
I have sat in a classroom full of people who do not know about my Tourette's, begging God to calm my tics down...just for a little longer. In turn, I have sat in a car with a friend who will soon portray my constant companion and received a refreshing curiosity expressed through probing questions. The contrast kills me a little bit inside. The more I speak, the less I can restrain myself from pointing out the pain that I can perceive in others who have not been spoken for yet.
That's what is on my heart, primarily. I want to seek healing for those who cannot find it themselves. If that means making six short films, that is what I shall do. If that means being an outspoken writer and speaker for my disorder, I shall find a way to do it. I cannot close my mouth any longer. There is too much damage to the broken hearts around me to ignore.
Is that a little over dramatic? You might say so. But if Twitter and Facebook users can explode news feeds with advocacy every day of the year, surely I can fill a single blog post with milder words.
I don't remember if I have posted this one before...but "Through Your Eyes" by Jenny and Tyler never fails to break my heart and put it back together again.
Prayer for this week...dead week is beginning. Wow, there is so much to do. That means less than 2 weeks of stress before a new kind of stress begins: Christmas craziness (I mean break, but you know).
God loves me, and God's love is enough.
I'll be real with you here--I've been dragging from one day to the next for the past month. It's been a struggle to find motivation for anything, especially writing about not having motivation. But now that I am motivated, let me tell you some of the things on my heart.
I have seen such hatred and sadness and pain this month. It tears me apart. I just want people to see and practice the words of Jesus when He said, "the greatest of these is love." As my heart aches for so many reasons, I constantly remind myself of that command.
I have had conversations recently that reminded me of the different seasons in friendship. It wasn't easy to hear those words...but I know what I heard was true.
I have sat in a classroom full of people who do not know about my Tourette's, begging God to calm my tics down...just for a little longer. In turn, I have sat in a car with a friend who will soon portray my constant companion and received a refreshing curiosity expressed through probing questions. The contrast kills me a little bit inside. The more I speak, the less I can restrain myself from pointing out the pain that I can perceive in others who have not been spoken for yet.
That's what is on my heart, primarily. I want to seek healing for those who cannot find it themselves. If that means making six short films, that is what I shall do. If that means being an outspoken writer and speaker for my disorder, I shall find a way to do it. I cannot close my mouth any longer. There is too much damage to the broken hearts around me to ignore.
Is that a little over dramatic? You might say so. But if Twitter and Facebook users can explode news feeds with advocacy every day of the year, surely I can fill a single blog post with milder words.
Prayer for this week...dead week is beginning. Wow, there is so much to do. That means less than 2 weeks of stress before a new kind of stress begins: Christmas craziness (I mean break, but you know).
God loves me, and God's love is enough.
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