It's time to talk about the elephant in the Church.

Throughout my childhood, I was told I could do anything and be anything I chose, as long as I was willing to put the work in to make it happen. My parents have always reminded me that they would love me and support me no matter where I go in my life. Living as a young adult with a different view of the world than my parents, I have always known I will be given the chance to express what I believe is important, even if I can't come to an agreement with my parents.

I'm quite aware of what a blessing and privilege that type of love and acceptance is. Here's the thing: I'm also aware that the same privilege does not extend to the entirety of the people I grew up caring about. There are some issues I have kept silent about on this blog, not to protect myself, but to keep this platform open enough that I might still get through to some people I don't agree with anymore. Recently I chatted with a mentor from high school about using discretion when expressing my views. To me, it's all about what rhetoric could be the bridge that will connect the seemingly impassible chasm between those who claim to be Christian but cannot agree on what that looks like.

Look, I have been quiet for a long time about the church, and only recently have I begun to speak up. Sure, I've made vague statements about my experience at ReNew and the fire for service ministry that has been reigniting in my soul. My desire to be comfortable on social media seems shallow and meaningless, though, because I know my own experience in the last year and a half is not the norm...but it could be.

It's high time we discussed how the 21st century American church could balance the scales of gendered ministry. 

I know, that's a bit of a mouthful and some of you just rolled your eyes to the back of your head. I wish this could be a simple conversation, but given my experience for the first 23 years of my life, I acknowledge that some hurt feelings are inevitable. But guess how that can change? That's right, by facing the tough issues together.

Let's start at the base: Jesus commands all of us to serve in His Kingdom, and He welcomed people from all walks of life to be involved with ministry in His Name. What does that look like in the church now? Simply put, men and women working side by side in every area of ministry. 

Remember when I said that I was raised to believe I could do anything or be anything as long as I put in the time? Well, I have to place an exception, and I don't at all blame my parents for putting this exception on me. Women in leadership within the evangelical church has been a topic full of inconsistencies and double standards since the beginning. I grew up being told that women weren't meant to preach or serve on the leadership board...or even volunteer to serve communion. I watched women with stellar leadership skills and a passion for Jesus serve in capacities that were deemed "acceptable" because they weren't the top leadership roles.

Before you start protesting that I am leaving out part of the picture, let me clarify: it's the way the evangelical church functions as a whole. I believe that saying the entire system is sexist or oppressive would be oversimplifying and unfair to the men and women who have influenced my passion for ministry. Within the context of the church I grew up attending, for example, the leadership staff is made up of both women and men. Within the system in place, people are content, even happy, to remain in the roles they have been automatically assigned.

So my issue is not with those churches; rather, I take issue with the mindset that it cannot be done differently. Up until I became friends with women who are currently on track to go through seminary (or have completed that track), my assumption had always been that the men going through that process would be the ones to preach and the women would be preparing for children's ministry or missionary work. Again, that assumption isn't the core of the problem, but it is incomplete and lacks the fair inclusion these women deserve as people who desire to serve Christ to the best of their abilities.

I'm not an angry feminist, I'm just a feminist. I know that term really angers some people I care about, but I'll keep clarifying that there is a difference. I support every person's right as a human being to show the love of Jesus in the way they most feel led. 

Recently my pastor asked me to help serve communion on a Sunday morning. He looked a bit stunned when I told him that it had never been an option for me to consider before. It's communion, friends...literally a way for believers to gather and remember the sacrifice of Jesus, a celebration of ultimate unity as the result of selflessness. I don't see that as a topic that is relevant to gender at all. I walked away from ReNew that day with a sting in my eyes that I can only describe as a feeling of gratitude for being included in a part of the Kingdom I hadn't been welcomed into before. It wasn't about me getting to check an item off a bucket list, it was about the knowledge that no one in this place would question my presence because I am a woman.

This isn't about me calling people out for the current way of doing things. It's about asking all of us to find ways to adapt because why not? I'm not interested in a debate about the "place" of women in the church. Based on my understanding of Jesus, a woman's place is the same as a man's because we are all equally loved by Christ. Yes, I come from a background that views this as more complicated. But I can no longer see any logic to making it more complicated and thus my next step is to challenge every person reading this to examine that mindset with me. Using the base belief that every person is equally loved by Jesus (which if you don't believe, we have a MUCH more pressing issue to discuss)...ask "why not?"

And from there, let's talk.