Quality Time or Touchy Feely?
Good grief, midterm break has come and gone! I can't believe I've been at Northwestern for exactly two months today. Crazy how one year ago I had no idea where God wanted me and I was pretty much miserable about it. I guess it shows how things can change in an instant--for the better--if you let God work on you.
I recently took a love languages quiz to find out how I prefer to receive love. Turns out, I thrive the most through spending quality time with people and through touch. Neither of these surprised me, but I do want to talk about some thoughts I have on my results.
Spending quality time with people can be hard or it can be super easy. It really depends on the other person's preferences. There were times--especially in high school--when I struggled with this because the people I cared about the most were too busy to spend much time together. If you are a person who enjoys quality time, you can understand where I am coming from here. There were instances when my mind believed that people were tired of me even though I knew in my heart that they were simply unable to fill my need. I still wrestle with this quite often...sometimes more so now that I am in college and am living with the people this applies to.
Of course, then there is the physical touch aspect of my love language. My biggest struggle in this area is that 80% of the people I am closest to don't give love in that way. In middle school, I told myself that I hated being touched so many times that I actually started believing it. Sure, there were a few exceptions among those whom I admired and cared about, but for the most part I was like a stiff board. As I got through junior high and into my freshman year of high school, one of my mentors really stretched me until I finally realized that being touched was okay.
By senior year, I had gotten to the point of actually feeling the need for touch again. I think it was always near the surface, but it was right beneath the thinnest layer of skin and refused to come out until someone peeled the covers back. Then Marci moved and a raw, gaping hole was formed in my heart. I think not having my best friend there to hold me when I was in need of love really took a toll for a while.
Moving to Northwestern was both the best and the worst for my need of quality time and touch. On one hand, I am surrounded by people and I rarely have to be alone for more than a couple of hours. There are a couple of people on my wing who are okay with hugs and such...that helps. On the other hand, however, I can't always be with people and the majority of those whom I am closest to here do not feel as comfortable with touch as I do. The roughest days are when I am sitting next to someone in chapel who doesn't like to be touched and I desperately need a hug or a brief head-on-the-shoulder moment for comfort or support.
So yes...as rambling as this post may have been, these are my overview thoughts on the topic. Taking that quiz really made me think deeply about this, but I didn't even attempt to scratch the surface of my thoughts in this post because it probably wouldn't make sense quite yet. There may be more to come here after I have fully processed it all and talked it over with at least one person.
I recently took a love languages quiz to find out how I prefer to receive love. Turns out, I thrive the most through spending quality time with people and through touch. Neither of these surprised me, but I do want to talk about some thoughts I have on my results.
Spending quality time with people can be hard or it can be super easy. It really depends on the other person's preferences. There were times--especially in high school--when I struggled with this because the people I cared about the most were too busy to spend much time together. If you are a person who enjoys quality time, you can understand where I am coming from here. There were instances when my mind believed that people were tired of me even though I knew in my heart that they were simply unable to fill my need. I still wrestle with this quite often...sometimes more so now that I am in college and am living with the people this applies to.
Of course, then there is the physical touch aspect of my love language. My biggest struggle in this area is that 80% of the people I am closest to don't give love in that way. In middle school, I told myself that I hated being touched so many times that I actually started believing it. Sure, there were a few exceptions among those whom I admired and cared about, but for the most part I was like a stiff board. As I got through junior high and into my freshman year of high school, one of my mentors really stretched me until I finally realized that being touched was okay.
By senior year, I had gotten to the point of actually feeling the need for touch again. I think it was always near the surface, but it was right beneath the thinnest layer of skin and refused to come out until someone peeled the covers back. Then Marci moved and a raw, gaping hole was formed in my heart. I think not having my best friend there to hold me when I was in need of love really took a toll for a while.
Moving to Northwestern was both the best and the worst for my need of quality time and touch. On one hand, I am surrounded by people and I rarely have to be alone for more than a couple of hours. There are a couple of people on my wing who are okay with hugs and such...that helps. On the other hand, however, I can't always be with people and the majority of those whom I am closest to here do not feel as comfortable with touch as I do. The roughest days are when I am sitting next to someone in chapel who doesn't like to be touched and I desperately need a hug or a brief head-on-the-shoulder moment for comfort or support.
So yes...as rambling as this post may have been, these are my overview thoughts on the topic. Taking that quiz really made me think deeply about this, but I didn't even attempt to scratch the surface of my thoughts in this post because it probably wouldn't make sense quite yet. There may be more to come here after I have fully processed it all and talked it over with at least one person.
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