Turning the page as slowly as I can...
Today. That is the day that I leave Wyoming and Haven on the Rock. The thought carries some very bittersweet feelings for me, but I am learning to accept it as a positive thing.
This past week was very taxing emotionally; while attempting to come to terms with having to go home soon, I was also juggling shaky friendships. The hardest part? I really don't think that the other person knew that I was questioning the strength of our relationship. If you've been reading this blog since the beginning of this year, you know that I tend to doubt my value in other people's eyes. It was pretty rough watching them remain close to others while feeling isolated.
Goodbyes have been easier than I thought they would be. Sending Molly and Madi off on Friday was by far the most difficult, and the process became less painful as time went along. God truly blessed me with such a fantastic family this summer...I can't wait for next June!
Yesterday afternoon, a rainstorm whipped its way through Haven on the Rock. As torrents of waters dumped their way across the canyon behind camp, I stood on the back deck and reflected on the summer. I could see the cross that we hiked to during training, and I traced our route from there down into the canyon where we slept that night and our journey back up to camp the next morning. I grew so much in my relationships during that hike and camping trip, even if it is quite the unhappy memory for a great deal of my comrades.
Then I began to scan the camp itself: The fence line where Shannon and I hid during Find the Staff; an opening in the fence line where we hiked in after the camping trip; the far gazebo where I talked with Karisa about my melancholy; the fire pit where Madi held me in her lap as I lay there crying and poured out my insecurities for the first time that summer; the farm that I walked to nearly every day for three months and saw so many unusual and sometimes frustrating things; the field where so many evening and night games either flourished or failed; the game room where we learned how we feel most loved by others during training; the staff lounge where friendships began and ended through simple conversations and disagreements...as well as where I learned the most from Adam Tibbs. So many places...so many God-breathed events. I could go on, but it would take days to write it all down.
So yes, I am leaving in about an hour. I already have a gaping hole inside where over 30 people should be. When I finally step foot on this turf again, I will be 20 years old, almost a junior in college, and aching for the promised reunion with some of the very best friends I have ever found. Thank you all for your prayers and support this summer.
And to all of the staff at Haven on the Rock...I love you. I miss you. Praise Jesus for the best summer of my life so far.
God loves me, and God's love is enough.
This past week was very taxing emotionally; while attempting to come to terms with having to go home soon, I was also juggling shaky friendships. The hardest part? I really don't think that the other person knew that I was questioning the strength of our relationship. If you've been reading this blog since the beginning of this year, you know that I tend to doubt my value in other people's eyes. It was pretty rough watching them remain close to others while feeling isolated.
Goodbyes have been easier than I thought they would be. Sending Molly and Madi off on Friday was by far the most difficult, and the process became less painful as time went along. God truly blessed me with such a fantastic family this summer...I can't wait for next June!
Yesterday afternoon, a rainstorm whipped its way through Haven on the Rock. As torrents of waters dumped their way across the canyon behind camp, I stood on the back deck and reflected on the summer. I could see the cross that we hiked to during training, and I traced our route from there down into the canyon where we slept that night and our journey back up to camp the next morning. I grew so much in my relationships during that hike and camping trip, even if it is quite the unhappy memory for a great deal of my comrades.
Then I began to scan the camp itself: The fence line where Shannon and I hid during Find the Staff; an opening in the fence line where we hiked in after the camping trip; the far gazebo where I talked with Karisa about my melancholy; the fire pit where Madi held me in her lap as I lay there crying and poured out my insecurities for the first time that summer; the farm that I walked to nearly every day for three months and saw so many unusual and sometimes frustrating things; the field where so many evening and night games either flourished or failed; the game room where we learned how we feel most loved by others during training; the staff lounge where friendships began and ended through simple conversations and disagreements...as well as where I learned the most from Adam Tibbs. So many places...so many God-breathed events. I could go on, but it would take days to write it all down.
So yes, I am leaving in about an hour. I already have a gaping hole inside where over 30 people should be. When I finally step foot on this turf again, I will be 20 years old, almost a junior in college, and aching for the promised reunion with some of the very best friends I have ever found. Thank you all for your prayers and support this summer.
And to all of the staff at Haven on the Rock...I love you. I miss you. Praise Jesus for the best summer of my life so far.
God loves me, and God's love is enough.
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