Breaking the Bondage

Week three of classes is officially half-over. It's ridiculous how many things have been happening recently. I was pretty vague in my last post about the situation that I had to deal with--mainly because I was technically still in the midst of it. At the time, I had no clue that it wasn't over. I thought things were just peachy...I was so excited to have a new peace. But things had really just begun.
I'm sure you are extremely confused right now. I rambled a bit up there. Well, I'm going to explain a little more, and then you will still be rather confused, but a bit more enlightened. Here we go...:)
During the second weekend here, I fell into a very deep depression. I couldn't really describe the feeling to you accurately; the simplest way to put it is that I felt such a despair. Nothing seemed to help me shake it...not even prayer. I couldn't stop thinking about regrets that I have from high school...things that I wish I hadn't done and some that I wish I could forget about.
I had a long weekend alone--my roomie was gone till Sunday--so I spent the majority of the time in Hannah's room. We did a lot of soul searching, and I finally talked about some of the deeply buried thoughts that I never dreamed of actually voicing. That was such a breakthrough for me. The next night (Sunday night) I was falling back again. I had a talk with Kali in the kitchen at midnight or so...I finally talked about those regrets without writing them down in a letter first. It was really hard for me to do that...but it just felt safe and right to do it with Kali.
She told me to confess all of those doubts and regrets out loud to God...even though that was the last thing I ever wanted to do. She prayed with me...that really helped. When I finally crawled into bed that night, I tried what she had suggested and there was such a freedom that I can't even describe it. It literally felt as if a weight had lifted off of my brain. Those thoughts disappeared...I almost felt dizzy from the change.
Since then, I have only had one nightmare, and that one was probably due to the high stress I was under last night. God is so good!
So many other things have happened in these three weeks, but I feel as if blogging about them would be far too boring. To summarize them, I am continuing to get closer to people on my wing (Ella is basically my twin, Kali is simply beyond describing, Samantha is an awesome lunch/study buddy, Lisa is a grand roomie, Jerrica always makes me smile, Jessica has been a constant friend, Kati has been a huge help with my papers and an entertainment, and O-Hannah is the best R.A./mentor I could as for at college). I left out quite a few people...but these are the ones who have had the biggest influence on me over the past three weeks.
I am so very blessed...four years may be a short time, but I am going to make it last as long as possible. :)