The "E" Word...
Most of the conversations I have with myself are for the purpose of forcing me to think more positively. I had a conversation with a friend the other day at supper that put the way I think into words. "I tend to be an optimist with other people's lives, but I am pretty pessimistic about my own life." I didn't consider my own words much at the time (although my friend agreed that she is the same way), but now I am looking back and cringing at just how truthful that statement was.
My extroversion has been reminding me of its presence quite a bit in the past forty-eight hours. If you have a similar personality to me, you will understand the emptiness that occurs inside you when there are people all around you, but none who are with you. I realize that some of you think it sounds lovely to be in that situation, but I literally develop a physical ache inside when I am sitting next to someone and feel completely shut off from their world.This could mean that I can't give them a hug; it could mean not speaking to them for any variety of reasons; it could mean that they are going through something and I can't make it better, no matter how hard I may try.
So yeah. Extroversion isn't just talking to every person you meet. I hate it when people say that. Seriously, it is so much more. It's a personality, not just a trait of one. I had a conversation with O-Hannah about it yesterday; about how I feel so alone in my extroversion on this wing. While being friends with introverts is unbelievably fulfilling, all of my extrovert friends are either on another wing, in another hall, or in another part of the state. It stinks. I hate it. There, I said it.
I found this picture a couple nights ago...I almost cried. I had thought that some of the things about me were simply quirks, but it turns out that all of those traits are part of an extroverted personality. Oh, and I realize I have been talking about this topic a whole lot lately...that's because I am trying to figure out who I am.
That is part of who I am. The "E" word.
My extroversion has been reminding me of its presence quite a bit in the past forty-eight hours. If you have a similar personality to me, you will understand the emptiness that occurs inside you when there are people all around you, but none who are with you. I realize that some of you think it sounds lovely to be in that situation, but I literally develop a physical ache inside when I am sitting next to someone and feel completely shut off from their world.This could mean that I can't give them a hug; it could mean not speaking to them for any variety of reasons; it could mean that they are going through something and I can't make it better, no matter how hard I may try.
So yeah. Extroversion isn't just talking to every person you meet. I hate it when people say that. Seriously, it is so much more. It's a personality, not just a trait of one. I had a conversation with O-Hannah about it yesterday; about how I feel so alone in my extroversion on this wing. While being friends with introverts is unbelievably fulfilling, all of my extrovert friends are either on another wing, in another hall, or in another part of the state. It stinks. I hate it. There, I said it.
I found this picture a couple nights ago...I almost cried. I had thought that some of the things about me were simply quirks, but it turns out that all of those traits are part of an extroverted personality. Oh, and I realize I have been talking about this topic a whole lot lately...that's because I am trying to figure out who I am.
That is part of who I am. The "E" word.
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